A BluishGreen Romance
by Imgonnaneedabiggermouth
Summary: Riley marries the Statue with the strange looking Goatee, little does he know Nicolas Cage is jealous. And what happens when the statue comes to life! Ft. Dr. Who, True Blood, Supernatural, and Sherlock.
1. LOVE AT FIRST RUB

Riley turned over in his bed, his stair-less dreams haunting him. He felt the cold clink of stone as he rolled over. He nuzzled his face into the smooth bluish-green shoulder of his lover. He and Goatee Man married last year. Since then, they had a blissful life, to the distaste of Abigail and Nicolas Cage. Once their eyes locked, Riley never could forget the heating in his pants. Those un-blinking stone eyes seemed to follow him as they left the treasure room. After the excavation Riley had punched some Ho in the face that laid a hand on his precious statue. With the help of Nicolas Cage, he was able to smuggle the thing out and back to his apartment. Nicolas cried that night, because he had secretly loved his assistant. Abigail was too busy doing boring document things to notice her "lovers" emotions. In fact she had a big trip to Europe coming up, to pick up some shitty piece of paper with historical importance, but it wasn't American so who cares?

Riley pulled himself up to kiss those cold lips and tickle his nose against the goatee. He reached one hand down the caress the bulge that lay directly behind the man's Shendyt. How he wished that he could simply lift that skirt up. Little did Riley know, Nicolas Cage loomed in the hallway, listening to the sound of Riley kiss that Biatch who stole him. "Curses." He murmured under his breath. There love was too pure for him to corrupt. He slunk away in the night to attend an America party.

The next day Riley went out with his husband. They got ice cream, and went to a book store to read for a while. That night Riley heard the most peculiar thing. A soft murmur had come from his husband. "Hello?" He asked aloud.

"Rrrrrrmmm." It said again. "Ryyyyee."

"You can speak!"

"Fuck yes Bbby." The Statue replied

To Be continued?


	2. A CHOCOLATEY MURDER

Nicolas Cage ate some ice cream in the corner. The chilling flavor of the strawberry numbing his mind from all the pain Riley caused him. He turned on the tv with his mind powers. It was Game of Thrones! He liked that show, but not the cersei bitch because she was a stupid idiot. He chuckled loudly as a ho got decapitated. What did he need Riley for? He had ice cream and tv, what more did he need? Yet, the tears tenderly fell down his smooth cheeks, swirling into the strawberry ice cream. There was only one way to get Riley back. MURDER!

Riley and his lover spent the day blissfully doing the do. "Uhhh yes baby, touch my stone." His statue would croon in his deep black man voice.

"Yeah, good." Riley cried out. The two made their way to a movie. It was a good movie with sexy superheroes and some ho with red hair and a puny gun.

"Dat bitch is useless." Riley heards a man behind them say. He looked back, it was a black man in a purple and yellow jersey and a chocolate bar. His name was Coach and they smiled at eachother. Statue got jealous, he saw that boy looking at some big strong black man. With a loud bang he shot the Couch.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Riley yelled. "We are breaking up, statue. You don't shoot hot men."

"I ain't lettin' you go." Statue used his powers to make Riley in love again with him.

Nicolas Cage called the cops because he saw the hole thing. They locked Statue up for what he had done in a pyramid. They said Riley could never see him again.

Nicolas Cage slinked up to Riley, hugging him close he pretended to be sorry for what had occurred. They walked in the park and the fresh air broke statues evil curse. Taking a seat on a bench the two talked about treasure and they decided they had a NEW MISSION!


	3. WINCHESTERS SLAM DUNK IT

"We need to hunt ghosts." Nicolas stared into Riley's full moon eyes. "I know just the people to see." The two rode down to an old house nestled in the woods. They broke in with the lockpicking skills Riley knew from playing too much Skyrim.

"Tell me more about this ghost." Riley spoke with his nerdy endearing voice.

"They have a pirate booty, and we need to find the two sexiest ghost hunters around." Nicolas Cage rolled like a cat into the house. A bearded man lay on the couch, sleeping. Nicolas Cage sang sweet nothings in his ear until he awoke with a startle.

"IDJITS?" The man flew out the window in shock. Just then two men came downstairs. One had long hair and the other had a frown.

"Where is Bobby?" He growled like a true warrior. Nicolas Cage worshipped him like the greek god he was.

"Dean Winchester." Nicolas Cage swaggered over to his friend and gave him an Eskimo kiss. "I need your help with the ghost of Black Bard the pirate, he took my treasure many moons ago." Nicolas channeled his Native American spirit blood that gave him his powers. They transported to the deep sea, and were afraid of sharks, but Nicolas once again used his powers to make a boat. They floated out to the ocean and could see the pirate ship below. Dean took off his clothes and jumped in, all of the men enjoyed the sight. Sam jumped in too, and took his clothes off too. The two brothers swam like majestic dolphins and attracted a school of mermaids who were in turn, slaughtered by Dean because they hit on his brother. The two brothers smooched as they descended into the briney abyss.


	4. PARTYIN TIL THEY DIE

Nicolas Cage watched them with a big smile. He shipped Wincest and was so proud to see all the work he had done to bring them together. Suddenly! Out of nowhere, A sexy angel boy flew down.

"I don't ship this." He growled in his sexy deep voice. He span around in rage and Nicolas watched with a big Cheshire grin.

"You will ship it, and you will like it." Nicolas pounced on the angel who screeched.

"Nein, Ich liebe Dean!" He exclaimed with a sexy thrust. Castiel exploded in his pants and transported them all to England.

They were in a huge field, filled with wheat shining like Bobby's eyes. Also, Bobby found his true love and texted Sam about the wedding. He was marrying a sexy yet elderly man named Flubbers McGee. They all celebrated Bobby's engagement with jello shots at a nearbye pub. While there Dean Winchester saw a sexy man with a big nose.

"Was yo name Sugertits?" He asked with the sass only a Dean could achieve.

"R-rory Williams." He drew his eyebrows in what Dean assumed was sexual passion. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I'm your worst nightmare." Dean smooched his luscious lips and frenched into the night. Some sexy mother fucker named the Doctor watched and gave it a thumbs up before he began thrusting into a fez hat. Riley meanwhile, died, in a fiery car crash. The statue cried quietly in his pyramid after feeling his lovers life force drain.

Now the party really got started, Nicolas Cage was on a table twerking it. Dean and Sam were doin it. Castiel flipped his shit. He rapped Dean and they liked it. Rory cried and died. Amy died too. The Doctor put the sonic screwdriver up his butt and Sherlock lipped his nips. Meanwhile Misha Collins built a shack where they all stayed happily ever after with all the true blood cast and meeeeeee. The End

OR IS IRT  
./?


End file.
